It is interesting looking at the way in which gender expectations are constructed by society and the culture we live in. In the example of The Woman Warrior, we were able to see the experience of Kingston’s aunt through a number of different lenses; each lens represents a different plausible narrative for what truly happened to her aunt. Nevertheless, all of the narratives speak to the same expectations that society had for her as a woman. They expected her to be submissive, while still upholding her virtue, and to live free of mistakes, so as not to bring shame to her family. Kingston’s aunt was unable to meet these expectations and drowned in them.
While I have not felt this same intensity of expectation, I have still felt pressure to be a certain person because I am a woman. All throughout high school, I excelled in my math and science courses; I enjoyed calculus, chemistry, and physics. For years I heard from all different people that I should clearly pursue a career in engineering. I mean, why would I even question or dare to doubt this notion? I am a girl. I am good at math. I am good at science. Therefore, engineering. Engineering is a very respectable field and one in which I would make quite a bit of money. Moreover, companies are looking to hire female engineers since women are not nearly as represented in the field as men. The thing is… I totally bought into it. The idea of going into a “smart” career, making a lot of money, having job security, and doing work I thought I would love made sense to me.
It was not until after I decided that engineering was not what I actually wanted to do that I felt as if I had failed these expectations that had been laid upon me. It got to the point where it felt as if I was disgracing women because I “settled” for a career in counseling. Yes, this is the opposite of what culture has told women in the past since counseling is a career that is focused on helping others and that fits with women’s traditional role as caretakers. Today, we are in an age of empowerment for women which is amazing, but I felt pressure to be this superwoman, essentially, who did not conform to “old” roles. While I am all for empowering women, there is not anything wrong with wanting to help and serve others – a misconceived notion I had adopted. I have now come to peace with my decision and know it is the right path for me, even if it’s not the most progressive.
Kingston’s aunt became pregnant by a man who was not her husband which caused her to trip over the cultural expectations in place for women. While my experience is far less traumatic, I felt as if I was failing to meet expectations society had created for me by not pursing a STEM career.
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